Welcome to the South, hon!
Installment 1

Believe it or not, the best milk around here is also the cheapest milk, and it is sold at a gas station --Weigel's. Paul pumps the gas and I run in and grab a couple gallons of Skim Delight, for only $3.59 a gallon. This is a great deal, especially if you add in the entertainment value provided by the cashiers. Every time I buy milk, I get the cashier's life story in 30 seconds or less. Seriously, EVERY time. It has become a running joke between Paul and I -- I come out of Weigel's as he finishes pumping the gas, and I tell him the latest life story. I call it The Weigel's Milk Cashier Saga.

Cashier 1: By the time I walked out with my milk, I knew her name, her daughter's middle name, her birth month, the fact that her mother passed away 6 months ago from cancer, her boyfriend was out of town, and her medical history. Oh, and she really likes Darvocet (a prescription narcotic).

Cashier 2: I forgot -- but it was a lot!

Cashier 3: Before I even got my receipt, we were friendly enough that apparently I deserved extra punches on my milk card -- she turns 40 next month, her boyfriend is 29, she is LOVING life, and her daughter disapproves.

I am NOT making this up!! Welcome to the South, hon!